See the Coffee Cup

There's a list of pretty good relationship tips at Men's Health. It's called "Confessions of a Perfect Husband" by Hugh O'Neill, and it's pretty good. I figure if it applies to marriages, it probably applies to long-term relationships too. I've been seeing Gianna longer than my parents knew each other before they got married...

Here's one tip that stuck out :

No. 8 - See the coffee cup
The perfect husband understands that women often get confused by stuff that doesn't matter, as in the undwashed coffee cup that's been sitting in the sink for days. Few wives understand that it isn't that we see the coffee cup and elect not to rinse it, but rather that the neural link between our eyeballs and brains actually keeps us from seeing the cup. The gender biology of why we don't see the cup comes down to this We have a lot of more important things on our minds. Will the Bills cover? Any chance of sex today? I think my biceps really are getting bigger. Our minds are cauldrons of profound thoughts. Any wonder we occasionally overlook some stray dishware?

Charge: We don't help enough around the house. We're guilty. But here's the fix: Do more. not a lot more-just a little more. One of the best things about women is that they really appreciate the smallest sign that you're trying. They're effort oriented.

Try walking into a room with a woman's mind. Imagine that your brain has space in it for trivialities like unwashed cups. Ask yourself, If I were a psycho neat freak, what would bother me in here? The coffee cup-whichsometimestakes the form of the kids' sneakers under the table or the towel you didn't put away after taking a shower-will suddenly reveal itself to you.


Pretty good stuff. Read the rest of the article here.